June 2011
3 posts
12.06.11
I hate days like today, I’m run down and i feel so miserable to the point where i hate everything and i can’t stand anyone. Crying for no reason and feeling like a burden are the two ingredients for a disastrous mood.
I want to crawl into a ball feeling sorry for myself and never come out.
May 2011
6 posts
21.05.11
happyhappyhappy mondaymondaymonday
07.05.11
Remember the time you drove all night Just to meet me in the morning And I thought it was strange you said everything changed You felt as if you’d just woke up And you said “this is the first day of my life I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you And I’d probably be happy”.
I hate an empty bed. It’s one of my major pet hates, i...
Si comprehendis, non est Deus
Life is difficult. If we have any sense we do not try to go it alone. In my opinion trying to go it alone, refusing to take wisdom from wherever it may be found, is the characteristic not of the adult but of the child, not of the strong person but of the person who is afraid that their weakness will be discovered.
01.05.11 - Don't walk in front of me, I may not...
People complain way too much, myself included. We are all too busy dwelling on the bad things to notice the good things going on around us. People don’t appreciate the small anymore, it’s all about what they can benefit and how fast they can get it. I feel like life is changing so quickly and I’m just just sitting back watching it, I’m not embracing it or enjoying it. I...
April 2011
7 posts
20.04.11 - It's the moment of truth and the moment...
Today has been a productive day. I did my work out this morning and feel so much better for it, i ironed and hoovered the house for Mother Mateer then hung out in the garden. After my job hunting yesterday, i have had some success! I have a job interview tomorrow, i don’t know if i’m nervous or not. I applied for 6 jobs in total and it wasn’t exactly my first pick but i’m...
19.04.11 - If you are afraid, dont be. I have the...
So today i went job hunting, i applied for loads of different ones. Even a call centre which is good money but oh my it would be boring and i can imagine myself talking to the customer about random things and not the actual selling part of the phone call. All i have to do now is wait for them to get back to me, fingers crossed because i’m dying to get some money behind me. I also declined...
04.04.11
I am looking for something that is never going to be found and i am wanting something that shall never be mine.
March 2011
2 posts
A means to an end - 13.03.11
The other night every thing came swarming back to me. The memories of what things used to be like and for a moment in time i wanted so badly to be part of that again. For what though? to be living a lie and constantly wondering if i did something wrong then would i be cast out and ignored again? I don’t miss any of you, i miss being part of something. Whether it be your family or it be your...
February 2011
4 posts
OH,
i also got a conditional offer from Brighton University.
27.02.11
The only word i can use to describe this week is insane. I have gone through so many different emotions, I’ve been left feeling exhausted. I’ve definitely found out who my real friends are this week. It has made me feel a lot more comfortable about things, i thought i was distancing myself from them all. The thing i didn’t realise was that i was distancing myself away from...
January 2011
6 posts
They'll never take the good years
I don’t know really know what I’m expecting to happen this year. I don’t really know what changes I’m welcoming and which ones i want to dismiss. January’s already over half way through and i haven’t stuck to any of my new years resolutions so time to create some new goals.
+ Start sending spreads into magazines, newspapers and websites + Decide if it really is...
Big mouth strikes again,
+ We’re not close, we’re not inseparable anymore and if I’m honest I’m used to it. I used to miss you constantly wishing some how we could go back to how things used to be but they can’t and i don’t think i want them to anymore. You’re a good friend and I’ll always be here for you when you need me to, but i won’t be involved as i was before...
22.01.11
Today i woke up motivated ready to fill my day with college work. It hasn’t gone that well, i scanned all my photography on to my blog and then just came to a dead end. I’ve been missing far too much college lately, i have stacks of briefs but just no knowledge or notes to complete them which means today is a complete fail.
Things have been good lately, a bit rocky in places but over...
02.01.11
2011 has already gone off to the good start. I welcomed the new year in with my beautiful summer and spent new years day with her and the family! Tomorrow I get to see her pretty face once again! Blue water on tuesday, double date with nagle and obie on wednesday then free house for me and summer all weekend. Pretty darn sweet if you ask me.
Summer and I have already planed valentines day too,...
December 2010
4 posts
25.12.10
Today has been amazing. I love my wee family.
Although if I’m truthfully honest, I miss my dad and it’s totally disheartened me that he hasn’t got in contact today. Tonight is the last time I will cry over him.
23.12.10
It’s Christmas eve tomorrow and i couldn’t be any more excited. The first Christmas that Mum and Red have been married and we’re officially a family. It sounds so corny and cheesy but it’s the little things that matter to me like that, it’s everything I’ve wanted and now I’ve finally got it i can’t be enjoying it anymore than i am. I had a long...
09.12.10
Why are you giving me the third degree? When i’m not guilty of what you’re saying.
03.12.10
I haven’t felt this rubbish since last year. Today has had my head in one big mess, feeling miserable is an understatement. Today you were born but you sparked no emotion from me at all, it sounds bad but I couldn’t care less. You’re just his other chance to bring up a daughter in a respectful manner. Ive been thinking a lot about where my life has taken me in the past 6 years...
November 2010
2 posts
22.11.10
I feel really lost
October 2010
13 posts
21.10.10 - Part two
I’m literally laughing at myself. I’m laughing at how up and down my moods have been the last couple of days. One minute i’m in tears and the next i have a beaming smile on my face because i realise hey my life’s pretty great. Today i didn’t help myself though, i snuggled up on the sofa with my duvet watching extremely cheesey Disney movies. Not the classics but the...
21.10.10
I couldn’t be any more annoyed right now.
20.10.10
I didn’t go into college today which was good because i was knackered. I swear it takes me double the amount of time to get over a hangover than it used to. I’m in a way better mood than yesterday which is a bonus too. I have literally done nothing all day which lands me the laziest person award but heck, i needed some time alone to sort out my head. Mother Mateer has been such a babe...
19.10.10
I’ve felt a bit lost the last couple of days, i’ve been knocked off course quite a bit. It’s all down to not feeling good enough for you, like i’m a disappointment. I have tried to live my life and keep the same morals i was brought up with but i find it hard sometimes. Considering i enjoy life which involves my gorgeous other half who happens to be a girl. I’m not...
13.10.10
Today was such a weird day. My photography class went on a trip to the Suffolk University, it totally confused my mind even more. The man who was giving the tour basically made it seem like a waste of time. I don’t mean this on a negative tone, in fact far from it. He said that no matter whether you have a degree or not you always have to start at the bottom of the industry i want to get in...
11.10.10
Today was boring as every other Monday is. I hate film studies, I just wish for Wednesday to hurry up. I love Wednesdays, its the one day we get to be as creative as we like. I didn’t end up seeing my other half today which totally sucked because I’m in desperate need of a good cuddle. I want to be made to laugh and smile, which is something she never fails to do. Although a texting...
I should be getting excited by the decisions i’m making this year. By that i mean choosing which university i want to go to. But i seem to be trying to choose any other option but university. I understand that the whole university experiance is something that most people want and need. I know that’s the same for me, i need to grow up and find myself but being with you is allowing me to...
10.10.10
This weekend has been exactly what the doctor ordered. After the dreadful week of college i decided to have a lazy weekend. It’s been nice to have time to myself doing the things i forgot i enjoyed so much. It’s given me time to catch up with Mother Mateer, just talking about everything that we seem to miss talking about in our day to day lives. Today was lovely so i took a blanket...
Hello again Jessie.
I actually have no idea why i’ve created a new Tumblr account. Maybe i just want some where to put my boring thoughts that i make myself sound stupid speaking out aloud about. I can honestly say though, i’ve changed so much since i last wrote what i felt or thought on here. I feel like i’m completely different, people say i’m more mature but i think it’s down to...
Let’s try this again..